Archive for January, 2013

If I Was the Coach of the Eagles

Posted: January 11, 2013 in Sports

Last week, I asked Dave Spadaro where I can get an application to apply or the head coaching job with the Eagles.  Of course he never responded.  Ok, maybe I don’t understand all the x’s and o’s of the game but duh, that’s why you surround yourself with good coaches and coordinators. I can tell you what I do know though.  I know my defense would need an overhaul starting with the secondary and because I would be such a nice coach (ha!)  I would drive Nnamdi to the Philadelphia Airport, slow down and push him out the car.  If I was the coach, I would make sure to draft 350 pound defensive players that won’t have to be substituted every other play because they are undersized and getting manhandled by guys who weigh 50-60 pounds more than them.  If I was coach, I wouldn’t draft a 26-year-old fireman who spent more time fighting fires this season than he did playing football.  You wouldn’t have to worry about not having any timeouts at the end of the half or the end of the game because time management is one of my strong points. If I was coach, we wouldn’t have 4 running backs on the team especially when you don’t even use one of the best in league.  I would run Lesean like a Georgia Mule and believe me, he wouldn’t  have come 9 yards short of breaking Eric Dickerson’s season rushing record.  He would have broken it easily. 

I think the most important thing to remember if I was coach is, you would never know what would come out of my mouth at a press conference.  You will never hear me say, “I have to do a better job to put my players in the right position”.  Oh no, I am calling every last one of them out in my pc.  You’re crazy if you think I’m taking the blame because they played like crap.  If we lose, you better believe I am going into that locker room with the intentions on making every last one of those players cry.  When I’m done, they would be so scared that whatever mistakes they made in the game, would not happen again.

Oh and one last thing before I go,  I would never make my offensive line coach the defensive coordinator and then make him the scapegoat 1 year later. 

This ends my plea to be the next head coach of the Eagles.  Now someone figure out how I can get an interview!